Book Reviews, My Books, and Whatever….

Blackout - Muse    (click to play)

     Once upon a time in a far away land, there live a young girl named Naia.  Naia lived in a tiny house at the edge of the enchanted forest, and every afternoon she entered the forest to search for berries.  Naia was sad because she was all alone.  She hoped that one day she would meet a handsome young man who would love her and stay with her all the days of her life.

     Years passed and still Naia had not met anyone to love.  She became disheartened.  Finally, one day she decided that instead of looking for a handsome young man, she would simply enjoy the beauty around her.  This cheered her up and gave her the courage to carry on alone. 

     One afternoon as she began her daily walk, Naia found strange tracks on the forest floor.  She knelt to examine them.  They were huge and spread out like nothing she’d ever seen before.  Curious, she followed the tracks further into the forest.  Here the trees were so tall she couldn’t see the tops, the ground was covered with fine moss, and the underbrush obscured her path.  She began to get discouraged of ever finding the creature who’d made the tracks when all at once she heard a low rumble.  She ducked below a branch and pushed the vines away.

     She held her breath as she stood perfectly still.  There in a small clearing lay a magnificent dragon dozing peacefully on the moss.  Naia knew she should be afraid of the dragon, but instead she was drawn to it.  She picked her way carefully through the brush until she stood squarely before the dragon.   She watched him closely as he slept, his back rising and falling with each breath.  Unable to resist any longer, she placed her hand on his head, feeling the coolness of his scales under her fingers.  The dragon stretched and yawned before opening his eyes, his nostrils flaring gently as he breathed in her scent.

     When his eyes opened, Naia was mesmerized by their color.  The longer she looked at them the more certain she became that she knew him.  Not as a dragon, no, but in a prior life as a man.  The dragon spoke to Naia.

“You shouldn’t be here, girl.  Don’t you know dragons are dangerous?” he said.

“”You’re just a kitten,” she replied.  “You don’t fool me.”

     The dragon roared as if to make his point, but Naia didn’t move.  When the dragon realized she wasn’t afraid of him, he began to relax and talk to her.  Naia forgot all about the berries until dusk began to fall.  She knew she’d never find her way home in the dark, and she was afraid.  The dragon asked her to stay with him through the night and he would protect her, and so she did.  They talked for many hours until the moon was low in the sky.  Naia lay her head against the dragon’s chest and fell sound asleep.

     When she awoke the next morning the dragon escorted her through the forest until she could find her way home.  Every day Naia would meet the dragon and talk and play.  Naia loved the dragon and the dragon loved Naia.  They each filled a void in the other, and both recognized that a very long time ago, in another life, they had known each other … they had been lovers.  It was visible in their eyes, the comfort they felt together, and the feeling of knowing all about the other without asking or being told.  Naia was happy.

     But after many days the dragon became sad.  One day as Naia sat beside him, he told her he had to leave; the dragon had a home to protect, and he’d been gone too long.  Naia cried as her heart broke, and the dragon’s eyes filled with tears.  No matter how much she pleaded, the dragon’s sense of duty and honor wouldn’t let him remain any longer.  Naia kissed the dragon on his head and said goodbye.  The dragon left with much sadness in his heart, but told Naia he would always be thinking of her.

     Years passed and Naia met a man who married her and took her to his home.  Naia cared for the man and did her best to take care of him.  More years passed and Naia became an old woman still caring for her husband, but deep down inside Naia knew there was another life she was born to, another heart she should have had. 

     One bright summer day, Naia was outside gathering firewood when she saw a large shadow pass over her on the ground.  She looked to the sky, and, lo and behold, there flew her dragon waving to her as he passed through the clouds.  Naia stood very still as she waved back, and in a soft voice she said, “Dragon mine, we’ve been apart, lo, these many years, and yet, deep within my heart lives a love borne of centuries, nay, eons together.  The gods have been cruel keeping us apart in this lifetime, but we will be together once again.  In another life.  Another time.”

     Naia lived out her days never seeing the dragon again, but as she felt her life drawing to a close, she could feel the presence of another soul next to her.  And as her soul began to rise from her body, a hand grasp hers, tugging her upward.  Naia’s spirit looked to the right and there, holding her hand, was the spirit of the dragon, the soul of her lost love, and they were united once again.  Finally, they were together, and happy to share what time they were allotted before they were once again sent to earth to find each other.

THE END

Billie Jean - David Cook

For those of you who keep tabs on my book progress, I’ve rewritten and embellished and crammed more action into the first four chapters.  Bwahahahaa.

This is turning out better than I ever thought it would.  Bless Teresa’a heart….she reads every rewrite I do and never complains.  Gotta love her.  I told her when I get the book published we would fly to Hawaii and celebrate!  Then she informed me it would have to be before March or we’d ALL have to fly there since her DH is getting transferred (military).  That’s okay, though.  If I get published, I don’t care where she is…we’ll party!

I finished my workout and walk this morning.  Sometimes I feel lazy and don’t want to do them, and I *have* slacked off the past three weeks.  Now I have to knuckle-down and just do it unless I want to regress.  NOT!

On my walk this morning, I began to pay attention to the little strip of trees that line the road.  The vines, palmettos, weeds, and underbrush that fill in the spaces between the trees look like a storybook fairy land.  The sunlight filtered through the leaves dappling the damp earth below, but mostly it was shadowy, damp, and cool looking.  I could just imagine sprites, elves, and dryads playing among the leaves, hiding every time a human passes. 

I’ll have to file that thought away for a future book.  Hmmm.

Later.  Oh, yeah, for my song of the day click on the link above.

Sorry I haven’t posted more of my book, but my muse, Teresa, has given me new insight in the storyline.  Therefore, I’ve been doing a rewrite, adding more detail and more plot twists.   So as Teresa sits in Hawaii soaking up the sun every day, I’m sitting in Texas soaking up the AC as I work on my new and improved book.  So far a lot of people have expressed interest in the story…….which is very encouraging.   Thanks.

I’m writing as fast as I can!

I deleted the short story I’d begun posting, “Love You Anyway.”  I need to rethink some of my story lines. 

However…….I will post a story I’ve been putting together for a while.  It’s still in the rewrite stages, but I’ll post what I have.

Absolutely without equal!  Sharon Kay Penman has captured the beauty, the toughness, and the desperation of 13th century Wales and England.  She’s managed to tell a story about ruthlessness and gory battles, and weave an epic love story trhoughout.

The story is based on actual historical characters…..Llewelyn, Prince of Wales, and Joanna, bastard daughter of King John.  Their love story is like no other I’ve read.  It’s exciting, sorrowful, heartbreaking, and hopeful, all at the same time. 

There’s not a woman alive who wouldn’t want to love and be loved as much as Joanna.  But she suffered because of that love and committed the ulimate betrayal ….adultery.  Ultimately, after almost ten months of Joana being locked away from everyone else, Llewelyn realized his love for Joanna outweighed the sin she committed.  (Even though men were allowed free rein to sleep around, it wasn’t allowed for women.)

Possibly the best historical book you could ever read!

     I’ve started a new book.  This one is a lighthearted look at the life of reporter Andrew Carnes.  Hope you enjoy it.

angel standing by - Click to play

        Susan heard the sound of car doors slamming and went to the front door to see who was outside.  Max was helping a dark haired girl from his car, and a young couple was getting out of a car parked behind Max.  What was going on and who were these people?  Max swung the door open and invited the strangers in, offering them a beer as they entered the house. 

            “Sue, get them a beer before you sit down,” Max told her.

            The dark haired girl waved her fingers at Susan, “Hi, I’m Carmen.” 

            Susan gave her a wan smile.  “Hi.” was all she could manage in response.  Her stomach was in knots, and her throat was tight and dry.  She had a gut feeling she knew who Carmen was.  The perfume she was wearing smelled very familiar.

            Susan handed beers all around and took a seat out of the way, listening to the chatter around her.  She saw the way Max kept looking at Carmen, and his looks were returned with interest.  Max began grumbling about work, and before Susan could blink, Carmen was standing behind him massaging his shoulders.  Smiling at Susan, she said, “I guess if you can’t take care of your husband, I’ll have to.” 

            Susan’s throat tightened to the point where she couldn’t even whisper.  She felt like she’d been sucker-punched in the gut.  Thankfully, she heard little Max cry from his nursery and left to tend to him.  She stayed in his room to feed and rock him, and waited for him to go back to sleep.  He could hear the voices and laughter and didn’t want any part of sleeping.  “Little Max, I love you with every part of me, but I wish I could die.  I’m so tired of living.  It’s just too hard,” Susan whispered.  

            He started wiggling and screaming, trying to get down and join the party.  Susan held him firmly on her lap trying to get him back to sleep.  The nursery door opened and Carmen stepped inside.  She took little Max from Susan’s arms and began to coo and talk to him.  In just a few minutes, he was sound asleep.

            “I guess if you can’t take care of little Max I’ll have to take care of him, too,” Carmen said sweetly.

            Susan was stunned.  It took several minutes to compose herself enough to rejoin the party.  She sat in a corner, out of the way, and was quiet the rest of the evening.  Her heart was heavy.  Her life wasn’t great by any stretch of the imagination, but it was all she had and she could feel it slipping away. 

            The party broke up about midnight and Carmen left with the young couple.  Max grabbed Susan by the arm.  “Just what the hell was that?” he asked, snarling.

            “What?” Susan responded, her eyes wide with fear.

            “You know what I’m talking about!  You were so rude to my friends that I wanted to just slap your face right in front of them!”

            Something snapped inside of Susan and all the bitterness and anger came pouring out.  “If you want to impress your girlfriend, you need to take her somewhere else because I’m not going to be her servant.  I’m sick and tired of putting up with your shit!”

            Susan felt the blows landing on her face, head, and body.  She put her hands up in front of her face, but it did no good.  Blood was flowing from her mouth and her eyes began to swell, but still Max continued to beat her.  She crumpled into a heap on the floor and he began to kick her.  As she was losing consciousness, she began to pray for death.  Please let me die, God.  I’m tired of living like this.  I don’t want to hurt any more.  Please let me die.

            Ceres looked down upon Susan, concern etching her face.  “Janus, I think she’s had enough.  She’s begging for death.  I say we let her have her wish.”

            “Fortuna certainly hasn’t held up her part of the bargain.  This poor child has known nothing but heartache.  I, too, think we should grant her plea,” Janus replied.

            “Don’t blame me for her misery!” Fortuna sniffed.  “I granted her some blessings when the opportunity arose, but you know I don’t intercede against free will.  Let her soul find rest if you want….she’ll certainly never find it there.”

            Max opened a beer in the kitchen as Susan lay quietly on the floor, blood pooling around her.  There wasn’t a place on her body that didn’t hurt with unbelievable pain.  With her last conscious thought she prayed, please take care of my baby.  And as her heartbeat stopped, the pain went away and she felt a peace she’d never known before.  After living through hell on earth, her soul was finally free.

            Susan glanced at the clock, one thirty in the morning.  Where in the hell was Max?  He was supposed to be home at six o’clock for dinner, and she hadn’t heard from him.  She needed money for baby formula and a few groceries, but he had all the money they possessed.  As she rocked little Max, her lips moved slightly as she silently prayed that he didn’t spend it all on beer.  She’d called all his favorite bars, but no one would admit to having seen him.  She knew they were lying and she hated it.

            She laid the baby in his crib and covered him lightly with a blanket.  Backing quietly out of the room, she headed for the kitchen to survey the cold food sitting on the stove.  She thought seriously about throwing it out, but didn’t dare for fear of a beating.  Susan was furious on the inside, but refused to let her emotions surface because that’s what kept getting her black eyes.  She’d finally learned to keep all her emotions hidden.  It didn’t matter if it was happiness, sadness, anger, or depression; she’d had to learn to hide them all for fear of making Max angry.  Now it was second nature to her to be bland, noncommittal.

            She slipped off her slippers and crawled beneath the covers.  She’d waited up as long as she could, but she was tired and needed to sleep.  She hoped that tonight he wouldn’t mind that she’d gone to bed without him, but it was just a toss up on that.  If she went to bed before he got home, he’d get mad and accuse her of being mad at him.  If she waited up, he’d accuse her of spying on him.  There was no good way to handle bedtime around here.

            Susan came awake with a start.  She lay quietly without moving, and pretended to be asleep.  She didn’t want to attract attention to herself because she didn’t feel like fighting tonight.  She felt Max slide into bed beside her, and he reeked of beer and perfume.  Now she was furious, and it took all her self-control to remain still without shaking.  She hated when he came home smelling like one of those barflies.  He always spent whatever money he had buying rounds of beer for everyone just to impress them. 

            He had the morals of an alley cat, and he disgusted her.  She hated when he touched her; all she could think of were the many floozies he’d bedded, and it made her physically ill. 

            Max reached across the bed and pulled her to him.  Still she feigned sleep.  “Hey.”  Max’s voice was thick from the alcohol.  “Hey.  I’m talkin’ to you.  You asleep?”

            “Mmmph.” Susan mumbled without opening her eyes.

            Max grabbed her shoulder tightly and shook her, asking loudly, “Hey!  You asleep?  I’m hungry!”

            “I left you a plate in the oven,” Susan mumbled, still trying to pretend she was half-asleep.

            With much grunting and groaning, Max rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen.  Susan could hear him stumbling around, but there was no way in hell she was going in there with him.  That would just be asking for a fight.  She could hear as he finally put his plate in the sink and made his way back to bed.  She stilled her breathing and relaxed her eyelids so she would appear to be sleeping.  Max flopped down on the bed, grabbed the covers, and rolled onto his side to sleep.  Susan lay quietly until she heard his breathing slow and become shallow in sleep, and then she was able to relax and sleep.

            The alarm rang and Susan rolled out of bed to pack Max’s lunch and fix his breakfast.  He was in a bad mood.  She could hear the slam of the bathroom door and then the door of the medicine cabinet slammed, too.  About fifteen minutes later Max pulled out a chair and sat down just as she placed his plate on the table.  She avoided looking at him or speaking to him.  Instead, she waited for him to speak first, but Max sat sullenly eating his breakfast, ignoring Susan, too. 

            As soon as he finished, he grabbed his lunchbox from the counter and headed for the door.  “Bye…..love you,” Susan called after him.  Max just slammed the door behind him and left for work.  Quietly, Susan breathed a quiet sigh of relief.  He was gone, there hadn’t been a fight, and she hadn’t had to talk to him.  There was still one more thing to do.

            Going into the bathroom, Susan reached into the laundry hamper and pulled out the shirt Max had been wearing yesterday.  She could still smell perfume on it.  She held it up in the light and looked at it.  Yep, there was makeup smeared on the shoulder and collar.  That seemed to be all.  She couldn’t see anything else, but that was enough to tell her what he’d been up to last night.  As if she needed anything to tell her what she already knew.

            She threw the shirt back in the hamper and went to pick up little Max, who was crying for his bottle.  Oh, crap! I forgot to ask him for money.  Susan was mad at herself for forgetting about the formula.  Well……she’d have to borrow a few dollars from Amy until she could get some grocery money from Max.  She didn’t have much choice.  Damn!  She hated her life!  She hated Max!  She hated being tied down and broke all the time!  She hated having to put on a front for everyone else to avoid admitting her life was screwed up!  Most of all she hated herself for being too weak to tell her mother she wasn’t interested in getting married, too weak to refuse Max’s proposal, and too weak to pack her bags and leave!  Yes, there was a lot of hatred and revulsion building up inside her, and if something didn’t happen soon, she would probably kill herself or Max.  The time was fast approaching, and she was helpless to stop it.  Damn, she hated being weak!

 Eyes of the Devil - Click to play

2 Years later….

            Susan looked across the room at Max as he lay passed out on the bed.  This honeymoon was turning out to be a nightmare.  What had happened to the nice, polite man she thought she was marrying?  Now that the vows had been said, his temperament had taken a nosedive, and for the first time in her life, someone other than a family member had slapped her.  In his drunken state, he’d accused her of spilling his drink down his shirt and had slapped her and pulled her hair, yanking handfuls of hair out by the roots.  She now sported a black eye and knots on her head where the hair had been pulled out.  At this moment, she was wondering what she’d gotten herself into, and she hated him for betraying her trust this way.

            She turned her face away from the scene, and gazed out the window of the hotel.  She should have gone with her gut feeling and said no to his marriage proposal, but her mother had been insistent that she marry him.  Rosie was ready to get rid of Susan….get her out of the house and out of her way for good.  So Susan had accepted, and now she was regretting it…less than four hours after the wedding.  She hated Max and she hated her mother for forcing her into this, and her rage was such that she wished she could just kill both of them.  However, neither was worth going to jail over, and she had no intention of ever ending up there.

            She sighed and tried to relax in the hard chair beside the window.  Her life was such a screwed up mess!  What had she done to deserve this life she’d been given?  She tried hard to be a good person.  She’d worked hard in school, and had more or less blended into the scenery.  For the most part, she’d minded her mother, but there were times when she’d just had to let loose or lose her mind completely.  She’d always been made to regret it afterward, but at least she managed to hang onto her sanity a bit longer.  She felt the hot tears as they splashed on her arms folded across her chest.  The dam had burst, and there was no stopping the deluge now.  She cried quietly to herself until all her tears were spent, then she went to the bathroom and rinsed her face so Max wouldn’t see her like that.  She didn’t want to give him any reason to repeat the punishment. 

            “Hey, baby.  Come crawl back in bed with me,” Max drawled sleepily.

            Susan laid her robe across the chair and took her place beside him in the bed, careful not to bump him or anger him.  “Can we go home early?” she asked him.

            “Why?  Aren’t you having a good time here?”

            Was he crazy or what?  She’d rather have a root canal than be here with him.  “I’m having a good time.  I’m just ready to go home and unpack all my things….make the house feel like a home,” she lied, her face expressionless.

            “I guess we can if that’s what you want to do.  We got any more beer around here?”  Max leaned up on one elbow and looked around the room.  “Shit!  I thought I had a six pack left from last night.”

            “No, you drank them all.”  Susan lied again.  After he’d passed out, she’d poured out every one of them.  No point in him getting drunk before breakfast.

            “Guess we can pick some up on the way home.  Where’re my clothes?  What’s my wallet doing in my shoe?”  Max rolled out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. A few minutes later she heard the shower running and breathed a sigh of relief.  Hopefully, they’d be home in a couple of hours, and then she could manage to stay busy and out of his way.  And maybe, just maybe, she could convince him that he didn’t need any beer today.  Maybe his headache would be bad enough that he wouldn’t want any beer for a while.  She wasn’t counting on it, though.

            Max came out of the bathroom, head down, with the towel draped over his shoulders, using the ends to dry his hair.  He raised his head, took a swipe at his face with the towel, and dropped it to the floor.  “Damn, baby!  What happened to your face?” Max seemed dumbfounded by her black eye. 

            “That’s where you hit me.”

            “I didn’t hit you!  I’d never hit you, you know that.”  His voice was bordering on a shriek.  “I don’t know what kind of game you’re trying to play here, but I didn’t do that!  And you’d better not start telling anybody I did, either, if you know what’s good for you.”

            Susan just looked at him without saying a word.  She shook her head in disgust and started repacking their suitcases.  Max grabbed her by the arm and spun her around facing him.  “Don’t you walk off from me like that!  I’m your husband now, and you’re going to show me the respect I deserve or else I’ll make you wish you had.”

            “You’re hurting me, Max,” Susan cried.  “What’s happened to you?”

            “Not a damn thing.  I can see already that you’re gonna be a piece of shit that I’ve got to deal with,” he sneered.

            “No.  I promise I’ll be good.  I won’t do it again.  Just please don’t hit me,” her voice quivered.

            Max sneered again; satisfied with himself, he strutted across the room.  Susan hated him more at that moment than she’d ever thought possible, but she was stuck with him.  It was the lesser of two evils she supposed.

             Susan straightened her clothes on the drive home.  Her brain was being hammered with a myriad of emotions.  What had she done?  She’d given herself to Greg, and now she vacillated between happiness and fear.  She felt as if she really belonged to him, but she was so fearful someone would find out that she felt kind of sick.  Greg reached over and slid his hand under her skirt as he drove, his fingers tickling her thigh.  She looked at him and smiled that secretive little smile that only lovers have, and she placed her hand on his leg as well.

            “I love you,” he whispered.

            “I love you, too,” she whispered back as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

            He pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car, then he pulled her tightly to him, kissing her deeply while running his hand under her blouse to touch her breasts.  She tightened her grasp on him, rubbing between his thighs with one hand.  She quickly felt his reaction to her touch.

            “You better stop that, girl, or we’re never gonna get back to your house,” he growled.

            “I don’t want to go home, but I guess I have to,” she sighed.

            He planted a series of little kisses on her lips and throat before settling once more behind the wheel to drive.  The happiness inside Susan was unlike anything she’d ever experienced.  As they stopped at her house, Greg took the time to pull her to him and kiss her slowly and passionately before they went inside. 

            Rosie was watching television in the living room while waiting up for them .  Susan and Greg, holding hands, sat side by side on the sofa and joined her.

            “What’s on TV?” Greg asked.

            “Some kind of science fiction movie.  Space aliens or something,” she replied.

            “Mind if we join you?”

            “Y’all can stay up and watch it……I think I’m going to bed,” Rosie said as she rose to leave the room. 

            From the first time Greg had met Rosie, he’d been very charming to her, until now he had her practically eating out of his hand.  That was so unusual that Susan was dumbfounded; usually her mother hated everyone she brought home.  But because of his charm, they’d been able to spend more time together than Susan would’ve been allowed otherwise.  They’d been dating about two months now, and Susan was the envy of every girl in school.  Greg treated her like a queen, Susan worshipped the ground he walked on, and it was obvious to everyone around them that they were in love. 

            The holidays came and went with the exchanging of gifts and more intimacy.  They were inseparable.  But with the first flowers of spring came the day when Susan couldn’t reach Greg anywhere.  She didn’t see him at school, he wasn’t in the parking lot after school, and he wasn’t at work.  She knew he had been at school because several of her girlfriends had seen him.  She waited for him to call her that evening while she did her homework, but the evening passed slowly without any word from him. 

            The next day in school, her best friend, Carol, passed her a note in Algebra class.  Susan slipped the note under her desktop, and, after looking around to see where Mr. Williams was, she opened it up to read.  As she read the note, her hands began to shake and tears welled up in her eyes.  She looked at Carol questioningly.  Carol shrugged her shoulders as if to say, “That’s what I heard.”  Suddenly Susan couldn’t wait for school to end.  She had to get out of there.  She needed to go home and be alone….all alone, but the class seemed to drag on forever.  Barely able to copy down tomorrow’s assignment, she breathed a sigh of relief as the final bell rang.  She hurried out of class to her locker, grabbed her books, and rushed outside before anyone else.  As soon as she was out of sight of the school, she began to run, and she ran the remaining distance to her house.

            She ran upstairs, threw her books on the floor, and flung herself across the bed to cry.  Carol’s note said that Greg had been seen with Sheri Sorensen, and rumor had it that they were dating.  She sobbed until her eyes were almost swollen shut.  Her shoulders heaved and her chest ached, but worst of all, her heart was broken.  She had given everything to Greg.  They were in love.  They had even talked about future plans.  She didn’t want to live any longer…..she longed for the pain to stop and if she had to disappear into oblivion to accomplish it, so be it.  She began to think of ways to die, but there was nothing available to help her accomplish it.  She was doomed to live through this hell all by herself.

            Her depression remained as the days passed slowly.  Somehow, she managed to get through the end of the school year without falling behind.  And as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, she began to realize that the ache was getting easier to bear.  Death was no longer her obsession.  Summer arrived and the heat seemed to lift the mantle of depression from her shoulders.  Finally, the day came when she actually looked forward to the future, but she vowed to herself that she’d never give her heart to anyone again.  She’d never place herself in a position to be hurt that badly by anyone!  From now on, the door to her heart was closed.